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Monday, August 29, 2005

Kneel before Budda, have a moment of silence, pray to whoever you pray to that we make it to and from California without getting pulled over!

Today is the day we leave on vacation to Arcata, CA for our friends, Eric and Athena's wedding. There's been a lot of prep going into this trip. There was the whooping cough that took Manhatten and my lungs. Still is, Week 11 my friends, week E-l-e-v-e-n! Muscles were ripped from my back by the evil Dr. W. Cough. Couldn't go pee without crying and Jory had to bathe me and wash my hair. God I love that man! By the way I moved back into our bed two nights ago, no more sleeping on the couch for me!
Can't forget the retards who spent over $400 for a dead battery, winning us the coveted 2005 Dumbass of the Year Award! Since I'm back to bending over and standing up without gasping in pain, Jory decides it's his turn. He's been having pains in the area of his fixed hernia. We're trying to hold out until we have insurance to have him "inspected" because of the potential cost. So hopefully he can make it through this trip before his guts explode out of his belly button. You would think that would be all, right? Not a chance.
I paid off my car this past January, waiting very patiently, maybe too patiently for the bank to mail me my title. We were a little busy with changing jobs, selling our house and moving to another state! Give me some slack, will ya? By the time I realized I hadn't received my title I only had 30 days to register my car, expired in June. If you move from Utah to Arizona you have to have your title to register your car. So after I recovered enough to pee on my own, I contact my bank and they sent me a title release for me to mail to the Utah DMV to get a copy of my title. The original was apparently lost in the mail. I didn't get this taken care of in time so we are traveling on expired plates. I still have to go home, clean the ferret cage, pack the car and stop at a gas station for travel snacks and such before we officially get on the road. It's take me all day to write this and I'm really tired. Jory might have to drive the first leg. Will post pictures and stories from the road when we return. Kneel before Budda, have a moment of silence, pray to whoever you pray to that we make it to and from California without getting pulled over! Thank you!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Fuck it, it wasn't meant to be

I just spent the last 3 1/2 hours pouring out my guts to the world for nothing. Serves me right trying to share my inner most thoughts and feelings. Blogger times you out after so long and I KNOW this. If you spend a fair amount of time writing you have to save your blog but do I forget to do this when I'm writing about nothing? No. Only when I've sat down and spent several hours pouring my heart and soul out. So fuck it, it wasn't meant to be, I wasn't supposed to be blatantly honest with all of you. It is meant to stay in my head forever.

Here's a quick non heart felt update on my cough and the muscles that won't heal in my back. We're in week 9 of the cough, less choking and more spitting up mucus. When I think my back is close to being better, I have a long night of coughing and starts all over the next day.
Still not smoking very much but yes, still smoking. And I don't want to hear it from anyone!

Getting ready for our trip to Arcata, CA next Monday. Can't wait for the vacation and I'm really excited to see Shane and Jessie and our friends! It should be a grand time.

Friday, August 19, 2005

BJ's and Legos

Legoland version of Seaside Village Old Town San Diego, CA
Tonight night we went to BJ's Brewery for dinner with Jory's aunt Gail and cousin Brynn, who's going to school here. The food was delicious, but it better be when you have to wait over an hour for it! Conversation was good. I really like Gail (sorry if I'm spelling her name wrong) and her husband Bob, we stayed at their house in Bonsal, CA this past May. They were very hospitable, they let us bring Mazzy and didn't make us sleep outside with the ceyotes, we had a fabulous time! I had met them once before back in January at Jory's uncle Chip's funeral, but we were there for such a short time it didn't really allow anything but first impressions. For the record, I thought they were kool, even though they're Republican. =)

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Bang! Play Dead

This is what Jory and Mazzy do all day while I'm off slaving at work. And when they're not laying around, Jory teaches Mazzy how to Play Dead. Isn't she cute?

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Billy Boy

Christopher William Peterson
Happy Birthday my favorite little brother!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Little Mohawk

Little Mohawk Matrim is having an exciting year, his parents are tying the proverbial knot and he's getting a little sister! Props to Athena for making a man out of the "Mann". We love you guys and can't wait to see you in a couple weeks.

Monday, August 15, 2005

What A Big Nose You Have

Jerry Garcia Johnson
A stoner at heart, all he does is eat and sleep.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Bada Bing!

This just in...Straight from the Soprano's Newsletter:

Chase will produce some more Sopranos.

Saying he was "obviously delighted," HBO chairman Chris Albrecht announced on Thursday that the network will produce eight bonus episodes for The Sopranos' upcoming sixth season. The new episodes, which are slated to debut in January 2007, will follow the previously announced 12 episodes, which begin in March 2006.
"When something is as remarkable as The Sopranos, our audience would like to see it continue as long as possible," Albrecht said. "So we're thrilled that David Chase felt that there are more stories to be told."
Brad Grey, executive producer of the series added that the show had "continued to grow and evolve" with every season. "We're all looking forward to spending more time with The Sopranos," he said.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Lord of the Fuckheads

Photographer: Joey J Model: Jory J

82% of the vote and I was worried? America choose Kaysar to return to the BB house, thank the 5 million who voted! Spoiler alert, don't read on if you don't want to know what I'm about to tell you. For those of you not interested in reading about BB skip to the next paragraph.
SPOILER starts here: Kaysar made a deal with Jennifer for HOH, if she agreed to put up two of her own as pawns and backdoor James then he would let Jen win HOH. She agreed and he gave it to her. nominations came and she WENT BACK on her promise and put up Janelle and Rachel instead of Yvette and Beau. What a BITCH! Are we surprised? No. Fuck her. After all the upset, Kaysar went and talked to her to find out what the fuck she was thinking. Jen told him she couldn't possibly put up two of her own, but she is planning on back-dooring James as promised. She's not as innocent and stupid as she has portrayed herself the last month. Janelle actually called her a cunt, Jory and I laughed it up.

Don't you love the word cunt? Say it now, cunt. It's so vulgar, it's the strongest of all vulgar words and so much fun to use. But we all save it for those who really deserve it, don't we? I can think of two of them now. Marny "Horseface" Stevens and Lisa Nielsen.

Haven't done much this weekend, we moved the computer into the dinning/living room. We got tired of sweating our guts out in the computer room. The only downside is having to wear headphones when I'm watching recorded TV or BB live feed when Jory's playing video games in the same room. I don't HAVE to wear headphones but otherwise I can't hear it. I didn't think I would mind wearing them either but when I take them off and talk, my hearing is all fucked up.

Alright bitches, have a good night.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Monsoon Madness

For those of you wondering what Monsoon season is all about in Arizona, here is a picture of our real first Monsoon rainstorm. There's nothing better than a crazy-ass rain storm in the middle of a hot day!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Kaysar, Return of the King (cross your fingers!)

It's my friday and the night Kaysar returns the Big Brother house, I hope!

I never wrote about what a bad move Howie made last Saturday, he put up James and Sarah. You can't get rid of people in your group until you have the majority. He should have put up Yvette and Beau and then if one of them won the veto, put up Maggie and get rid of her. If neither won the veto, get rid of Yvette. But no, he was stupid and so was Rachel for letting him do that. They not only screwed themselves, they screwed Janelle which pisses me off! Howie made a deal with Maggie that if he put up James and Sarah, he and Rachel would be safe for two weeks. Knowing that there is the teenie tiniest possibility that Eric could be coming back, Howie should have known this was not the time to get rid of James. Realizing that he had screwed up, you'd think that Howie and even Rachel would do everything in their power to not let James get the veto, right? Ironically Yvette was the smartest player when it came to the Veto competition.

Let me set the game up for you, all 6 players had pinatas with a hole in the back and each person had 10 pieces of candy they had to divide between at least two of the six houseguests. The person with the most candy, not going over 20 pieces would win the veto. They sequester each player and then one at a time they go out back and put their candy in the pinatas. So if there is someone you don't want to win, you put all but one piece in their pinata and put the 10th piece in your pinata.

Each one of them came out and immediate go to put 9 pieces in James' pinata then stop and think, "What is everyone else going to do? What if they don't put all their pieces in James' pinata? (WHY WOULDN'T THEY? YOU DUMB FUCKERS! I yell at the TV. GOD! Don't you all watch BB before you apply to be on the show? Haven't you seen every season make the same mistake so you know not to? I pause the show to rant.) This game is played every season and every season they fuck it up! Then like the retards they are they go and divy them up
A. between everyone
B. half to James, half to Sarah
C. half in Howie, half in Rachel or the correct answer
D. 9 to James and 1 to self.
Yvette was the ONLY person who gave James 9 and 1 to herself. YVETTE! The MOST retarded of all the players is the only one who played it correctly! So yeah, shocked faces when James won the veto. Stupid fuckers.

However, Yvette opened the door to change the game again because she was playing chess with James and everyone else has completely stopped talking to James and Sarah so now she's thought of as being his aly. This pisses off April and she and her partner Jennifer go to Howie and Janelle about possibly putting up Yvette as the "pawn" and then voting her out! What a brilliant idea! The house has already decided that it doesn't matter who Howie puts up in James' place, they plann(ed) on voting Sarah out. April and Yvette both volunteered to be put up, so it wouldn't be so weird for Howie to put up Yvette. So after much stress and nail biting the veto meeting starts and Howie does the smartest thing so far, he puts up Yvette. She was a tiny bit suprised because it was really supposed to be April but she had volunteered too so no big deal.

Now the window is open. We know James will vote out Yvette. As long as April stays pissed and doesn't talk to Maggie (we can also assume whatever April does, Jennnifer does), she'll vote out Yvette with Howie, Rachel and Janelle and the game will be back on! Kaysar will return and start throwing out the fucking "friendship".

I didn't mean to blog about BB today, that wasn't my intension but it's what came out so deal.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Mucusy Grossness

We're nearing the end of week 7 and I'm still coughing, my back still hurts but is slowly getting better. My cough has change a little, I'm no longer choking to DEATH during every cough. I'm coughing up more mucusy grossness which makes me want to vomit and sometimes I do.

Codeine cough syrup gone, only two Lortab left and one hiding Percocet, need to find a local dealer. =)

Work is work, missing my friends. Loving the weather, RAIN in the summer ROCKS!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Days of our Harland Lives. The Idea hits.

It's really hard not to write about work, definitely not interested in getting dooced. So I'm sitting here thinking about my old co-workers who I miss dearly and realize, I can write my heart out about Harland! I can't be fired from a place I don't work anymore, and there is no end to the drama that happened and continues to happen at John H. Harland Company. My good friend Sarah who is a Work Force Analyst at the big H and I joked about keeping a journal about all the call center drama and maybe one day publish it. I never did journal it but my brain is fresh full of memories and when I can't think about anything else to write, I think I'll write about it here. Wait, no I think I'll create a new blog just for Harland...yeah that's what I'll do and then I spread the word quietly and sneakily to those that still work there and see what kind of fun it creates!

Speaking of Sarah, here is a picture of her desk on her Birthday. We really liked to let each other know how much we loved them by "decorating" their desk!
Yes that is mini confetti and industrial plastic wrap, a great benefit of working in the same building as one of our printing facilities.

I'm off to set up my Harland Blog, come back later for the Introduction and first episode.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Week 7

Still coughing, back hurts, running out of Lortab.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Daddy Johnson

Happy Birthday to my father in-law, Ken!
We love you so much and appreciate you more than you will ever know!

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Kaysar in 2008!

It's Big Brother 6 time and I have Jory hooked this year. I've watched BB since the first season and have loved and hated each season. This year is a good one, but that wasn't my first impression. As per tradition I missed the first episode, so when I sat down to watch the second I was disappointed that CBS has gone all MTV on our asses and eliminated all the real people. You know, the old folks, the rainbow colored hair character and the chubby guy or gal. This season they are all thin, fit and down right built (Howie) and don't forget all the boobies! However this season redeemed it self with Kaysar. He truly is King Kaysar. Yes, even kings make mistakes like showing all his cards when he was HOH. If there were anyone in BB history that played the game like I would have, it would be Kaysar, minus the cards. Unfortunately after Kaysar turned the game upside down, which was SO much fun to watch and SO needed to be done in order to make this season worth watching, his "group" failed to win the next HOH which gave the "friendship" coined by Maggie back the power and Kaysar ended up being evicted.

Now the excitement isn't necessarily gone because as Julie Chen has said, this is the "Summer of Secrets". With perfect timing, BB has thrown in America's Choice Vote to bring back an evicted houseguest which means WE decide which evicted houseguest get's to return to the BB house. There are only three houseguest to vote for, Michael who was CrAzY, Eric the midget, and King Kaysar.

So regardless if you care about the BB or CBS, do me a favor and go here and VOTE for KAYSAR to return the BB house so I can enjoy wasting more time watching Reality TV (especially while my back is hurt, I have to watch something in between all the books I'm reading...LOL).

Friday, August 05, 2005


I don't know how I ever made it through my first 20 years of life without you!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

When my Knight in Shinning Armor comes to pick my Doped Ass up from work!

I'm Alive!
Today is my first day back to work since last Wednesday. That night at work, I coughed so hard I heard a pop in my back and it threw me to my knees. I only had 15 minutes left of work, so I stayed and somehow drove home in tears, I don't think I got over 25 mph.
Because we don't have health insurance right now, I didn't want to go to the emergency room and Jory happened to have some Lortab left over from his surgery so I took those to make it through the night.

Jory took me to Urgent Care Thursday morning, told the doctor I've had a cough for 5 weeks and from what I've read on the internet I knew I had whooping cough. When the doctor was examing my back he touched the "spot" and I colapsed from the pain. The doctor ordered xrays, said he thought I might have broke a rib when I coughed, but the xrays came back clear. The doctor said I tore some muscles in my back and prescribed me Percocet and codeine cough medicine to keep me knocked out for a few days. But didn't prescribe me antibiotics! Told me to come back in three days if I didn't improve. Went home and drugged up for three days. Read Jory's blog for all the stuff I've left out.

All I remember of those three days is excruciating pain, waking up to stuff my face with english muffins/bagels/or toast and jam so I could take more drugs and go back to sleep. When I felt fucked up enough I would stay awake until I coughed and The Pain would return in which I immediately wanted to go back to sleep.

My sweet sweet husband Jory took care of me like no one could! He was so worried about me and so sweet, always making sure I was ok even when I was peeing. It's amazing how long it takes you to pee when you are F'd up. I would be in there so long he would come check on me.
I could never thank him enough for being my "doctor/nurse/husband/ wife/cook/cleaner/crutch/pillow arranger/movie renter/water filler upper/food shopper/prescription getter/driver/Mazzy poop and pee picker upper/pet feeder/my everythinger".
He even washed my hair! He offered to help me shower or give me a sponge bath ;) but I knew I wasn't going to be able to spend much more time in the tub then needed to wash my hair.
I feel bad he had to do EVERYTHING this past week! I guess it was a good thing he doesn't have a job yet...I really needed him and he was SO there for me! I love you Jory Dan Johnson, there is no one in the world that even compares to you!

Sunday afternoon Jory drove me back to Urgent Care and I saw a different doctor who immediately assumed I was a drug addict and was completely worthless. I had to tell him the whole story again even though it was right there in my file. After I told him the story, he asked me again what I wanted him to do and I told him the pain is unbearable and I needed more pain pills and I would like an antibiotic for my cough so it will go away and not just be supressed. He asked me if I was a smoker and I told him up until 30 days ago I was (give or take a few cigarettes). He hesitantly agreed to listen to my lungs and asked me to breath in and of course out came a cough and whoop to follow. I doubled over in pain and almost fell off the exam table with no help from him. He immediately said I did indeed have whooping cough and he would prescribe me Zithromax and more pain pills.

I left the doctors office with antibiotics, not Zithromax though, Biaxin XL Clarithromycin extended release tablets 500 mg, two pills one time daily for eight days. Prescript for Lortab take one every 12 hours (down from every 3 hours! OUCH!) And prescript for a steriod (don't have info with me now) to help my muscles heal faster I think? And a doctors note excusing me from work from last Thursday to yesterday! So I'm supposed to go to work all drugged up?!?!

I've been lucky today, except for being two hours late because I was so doped up. Jory drove me to work and I had a conference call training for the first hour I was here. After the training I didn't get a call before my lunch, so I went to lunch took my pillow and sandwich and antibiotics into the heath room. Ate and took my pills and layed down for 45 minutes. Jory called to wake me up and remind me to go back to work and here I am finishing up my story.

Got a call, dead air call thank god! My back is already starting to ache and I still feel fairly dopey, don't know how that works? I hope this message isn't too goobled or garbled...I am on narcotics after all. We'll see how the rest of the night goes. Can't wait for 8 PM when I can take more drugs and of course 9 PM when my Knight in Shinning Armor comes to pick my doped ass up from work!

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