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Thursday, March 30, 2006

...SCREW YOU, this is my ONLY chance...

Since posting my results, I still haven't really wrapped my head around the whole "you will have ovarian cancer" thing. I don't know if I really am in that much denial or just don't want to go there because I may never stop crying? Those who I have talked to comment that I seem to have a positive outlook, but I don't have an outlook at all, because I don't know what's going on, or what we're going to do, or how I feel about it. It's been taking me forever to call people because I don't know how to tell people. I don't know how to react so how does anyone else know how to react when I tell them?

Jory and I have talked about skipping the birth control pills and just going for it. Even if a hundred doctors told me to get my ovaries removed tomorrow, I would still say SCREW YOU, this is my ONLY chance to fulfill my life long dream of having my child. So I'm fairly certain that we are going to go against Dr's orders and start trying now instead of wasting a few months and maybe loosing this chance. I know, so rebellious!

I love you all, thank you for all your support, we'll keep you posted. And I'm not joking about Moab....Eric when are you guys thinking you could make it back down?


Brooke said...

My initial response to your post is - go for it!!! But what do I know.

Still, you seem like you've got enough guts to do it. Need some Clomid on the sly? Is that totally illegal? I am laughing at myself for what I just wrote!

Mr. E Mann said...

I don't have nearly the worries you have, but I can relate (and empathize) to how you feel. (Stupid doctors never even figured out what the fuck is wrong with me, just that it will probably never go away).
It's a crazy experience to have to wake up after a procedure and have everything explained to you by nurses/loved ones who where there for you during the procedure. Because, of course, the doctor is already long gone by that time, (that's how it went every time they've knocked me out anyway).
It makes it that much harder to hear the news and get your head around it when you're just waking up or to hear it by mail or phone from a nurse. :(
(Also, are we 100% sure that the test results were need for 2nd opinion? I have about 0% trust in doctors if you hadn't noticed.)

I also agree with you guys and Brooke. I'd say don't waste a single day you don't have to. Go for it while you feel you can. Then you can hurry and get those traitorous ovaries gone!

Unfortunately, we won't be free for another vacation until about mid-July (3550 miles in 14 days ran us out of vacation time/money until July). Also, Athena just got a great new job (except they're super strict on attendance) and it will take about that long to get enough vacation accrued...
Pretty hot for Moab by that time, but I suppose it would be a cool-down for you! :)
Maybe Tahoe? ;)

It really would be great to see you again as we miss you both more than you know! We love you two and are fervently hoping for the best for you both!
Take care of yourselves and keep us updated!

p.s. I'm still working on our vacation post. There are some pictures I'm sure you'll like. I'll have it up a.s.a.p.

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