Monday, December 31, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
This past August while we were in Utah for my little brother's wedding, our friend Sara decided to drop the bomb that her and Carl would be getting married in Florida on December 6th! I looked at Jory and told him I wanted to go. It took a bit of finagling for Jory to find out if he could take the time off work, but we got the good to go. Meanwhile Sara asked me to be her bridesmaid so I had to buy a dress! Not that anyone cares, but I found a hippie type dress that would work but it showed some serious cleavage and those of you who know me, know that I don't show a lot of skin, let alone boobie skin so it was an uncomfortable experience to say the least. But on the trip...
But sitting in a brand new (only 708 miles) Sparkling Black Super Kool Dodge Caliber trying to figure out this piece of shit GPS made us the perfect target for any bad ass to take advantage of the tourists who are apparently lost. This thought frazzled me to the point of not being able to assist Jory in making this damn GPS work. By some miracle, Jory was able to tell me where to go and we did find our hotel without getting lost again. Luckily I had previously Mapquested the directions to the hotel and had remembered there was a toll road so I was prepared with coins, however bringing the Mapquested directions was an after thought, being the reason I decided at the last minute to request a GPS.
The wedding was beautiful and tear filled. As I stood up there as a bridesmaid, I was reminded of my own wedding; Jory and I standing on our rock, love filling the air felt like warmth from the sun, not just our love for each other but the love of our families and closest friends surrounding us. Looking in Jory's eyes was like staring at the warm sun, tears rolled down my cheeks. Realizing I was lost in this memory I glanced up at Josh as his eyes welled, tears began to form in my eyes which can quickly turn to uncontrollable bawling since Jack died, so I turned to Jory hoping to get control and he smiled. Like a Secret Super Power, his smile cured me. How lucky I am to have such a wonderful partner in life. I love him so much!
After the wedding we went to Christos' house for the reception. At sunset we took pictures out by the lake beyond his backyard, it was definitely picture perfect. After the usual cutting of the cake and garter toss and dancing we were all worn out and ready for bed. Then we realized it was only 6 PM, it felt like 2 AM! After a little encourage from Carl's best man Alex and Josh, we all decided to go out to Coconut Grove for some drinks.
We excitedly walked to the register to cash out and BLAM! PANIC rushes through me as he tells me my debit card is being rejected....Jory was right we are in the ghetto...someone stole our card info and now our identities...we'll be stuck in Florida with no money...WAIT! My card is fairly used, I have had problems at some places that can't read my card so I took a breath and had Jory try his card BLAM FUCK YOU BLAM Rejected! OMFG we're fucked...it's real...that damn dirty rental car place...the shuttle driver who looked and acted like he was going to take us to an empty warehouse, rob us and kill us, the eclectic hotel front desk clerk with his multi colored eyebrows...one of them did this ARGH! Of course outwardly I displayed a calm, collected attitude in order to not let Jory stress out. If something did happen, our families would be able to help us out with money for food or whatever til we got home. Luckily I'm a fairly responsible adult and always have a credit card on hand in case of emergencies. After picking up our fabulous new camera, we walked outside to smoke a carton of cigarettes and call the bank to realize our horrible fate.
While driving back to our hood, we saw what looked like Sylvester Stallone driving in a fancy car, I didn't get the best look, but Jory is convinced it was him. He looked so much smaller in person, nothing like RAMBO!
That night, concerned about having to run through the Houston airport to make our connecting flight with only 20 minutes between, I knew I had to do something about this blister now the size of Pluto. After reading online, it was ok to pop it as long as I keep it clean, we headed to CVS for some supplies. Surgery commenced and as the blister exploded, the excruciating pain went with it. Why didn't I do this yesterday? I constructed some moleskin to protect the blister area which was still very sore but I could actually walk without wanting to kill myself.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
"all is well in the SLC. Now that i'm living in Rose Park, I've recently purchased a Glock 9mm and an AK-47 assault rifle...I'm looking for an RPG launcher, but they are hard to come by. Please send one my way if you can. I am now a member of the Tongan Crip Gangsters. I recently participated in my first drive-by and popped my first cap in a cop, but i'm not sure if i'll be able to stay in the gang for long. I think the rest of the crew are starting to figure out that i may not be Tongan. However, my fellow gang-banging brothers and I are getting along well so far, we officially control about 6 blocks in the 'hood as well as the local park. However i want to be more violent and menacing than my cohorts so i'm considering starting my own crew, J.R.P.P. or Jewish Rose Park Posse. Instead of bandanas we'll wear yamulkes. And instead of "jumping" new recruits in, I'll make them eat kosher for a month. BETTER CHECK YO' SELF, FOOL!"
Hope you don't mind me sharing this Pedro, it was too funny to keep to myself!
UPDATE: I responded to Pedro...
Good thing you decided to join the Tongan Crips, I hear their Sunday BBQ's are Delicious! Too bad they aren't down with more violence. Jory and I are thinking of creating our own "gang" if you will, called the Dexters (I know we're working on the name). We'll be serial killers who kill serial killers. (if you don't know what I'm talking about, see www.sho.com/dexter it's the SHIZNIT)"
"Ha! When i first read your greeting, i thought it said "Hi Horny", i was like, how did you know?
i don't have Showtime, but i am familiar with the premise of Dexter. Before you met Jory, he and I used to go on the occasional random killing sprees, usually when we were out of "supplies".
the BBQ's are a nice touch, burying a pig in coal pit and all, but the whole pork thing wouldn't fly with the J.R.P.P.
As part of my "joining the gang" ceremony they gave me my own mu-mu and a couple of flaming batons to twirl. I'm still practicing twirling and sticking my tongue out as far as possible, i guess it's some islander thing.
April's not too fond of my new "friends", but once i showed her all the drug money i've made and all the new shoes i've jacked off of suckas, she's warmed to my new lifestyle. She LOVES shoes. Also, blue colored bandanas don't bleed in the wash as much as the red ones, so she likes that. I WAS recruited by the Cholo 6th Street Bloods, good think i didn't join that gang, all my undies would be pink by now!
I've also received some new tats. "Psycho Palua Koa'Ka", my O.G., gave them to me. here's a pic of me and my new gat:"
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
We'll be back next Monday.
What a deceiving title...he he
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