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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Literally Laughed Out Loud!

From an email I received today...

"all is well in the SLC. Now that i'm living in Rose Park, I've recently purchased a Glock 9mm and an AK-47 assault rifle...I'm looking for an RPG launcher, but they are hard to come by. Please send one my way if you can. I am now a member of the Tongan Crip Gangsters. I recently participated in my first drive-by and popped my first cap in a cop, but i'm not sure if i'll be able to stay in the gang for long. I think the rest of the crew are starting to figure out that i may not be Tongan. However, my fellow gang-banging brothers and I are getting along well so far, we officially control about 6 blocks in the 'hood as well as the local park. However i want to be more violent and menacing than my cohorts so i'm considering starting my own crew, J.R.P.P. or Jewish Rose Park Posse. Instead of bandanas we'll wear yamulkes. And instead of "jumping" new recruits in, I'll make them eat kosher for a month. BETTER CHECK YO' SELF, FOOL!"

Hope you don't mind me sharing this Pedro, it was too funny to keep to myself!


UPDATE: I responded to Pedro...

"Yo Homie!

Good thing you decided to join the Tongan Crips, I hear their Sunday BBQ's are Delicious! Too bad they aren't down with more violence. Jory and I are thinking of creating our own "gang" if you will, called the Dexters (I know we're working on the name). We'll be serial killers who kill serial killers. (if you don't know what I'm talking about, see www.sho.com/dexter it's the SHIZNIT)"

Pedro's reponse...

"Ha! When i first read your greeting, i thought it said "Hi Horny", i was like, how did you know?

i don't have Showtime, but i am familiar with the premise of Dexter. Before you met Jory, he and I used to go on the occasional random killing sprees, usually when we were out of "supplies".

the BBQ's are a nice touch, burying a pig in coal pit and all, but the whole pork thing wouldn't fly with the J.R.P.P.

As part of my "joining the gang" ceremony they gave me my own mu-mu and a couple of flaming batons to twirl. I'm still practicing twirling and sticking my tongue out as far as possible, i guess it's some islander thing.

April's not too fond of my new "friends", but once i showed her all the drug money i've made and all the new shoes i've jacked off of suckas, she's warmed to my new lifestyle. She LOVES shoes. Also, blue colored bandanas don't bleed in the wash as much as the red ones, so she likes that. I WAS recruited by the Cholo 6th Street Bloods, good think i didn't join that gang, all my undies would be pink by now!

I've also received some new tats. "Psycho Palua Koa'Ka", my O.G., gave them to me. here's a pic of me and my new gat:"




2 comments:

tom in the RP said...

J.R.P.P. FOOL!

Michelle said...

Perhaps you can combine gangs with the original J.C.P. I remember them being quite fond of graffiti.

Jory's Chick Posse FOREVER!!!

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