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Thursday, January 31, 2008

I've Been Tagged!

Two names you go by:
1. Joey
2. Jo

Two things you are wearing right now:
1. khaki pants
2. black hoodie

TWO OF your favorite things to do:
1. Hang out with Jory
2. Travel

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. A baby
2. See first answer

Two Pets that you have or have had
1. Mazzy Star - 3 yr old Pomeranian
2. Jimi (thegirl) Hendrix - 1 yr old Pomeranian

Two people who will fill this out:
1. Cody
2. Casey

Two things you did last night:
1. watched LOST, can't wait for tonight!
2. played Burnout Paradise (xbox360) with JoryDJ

Two things you ate today
1. nothing yet
2. still nothing

Two people you last talked to
1. Keara
2. coworker Jeff

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1. working
2. possibly getting drunk

Longest trips taken:
1. road trip thru Oregon, Washington and Canada
2. New York City

Your favorite holidays:
1. Any day that I have off work
2. Halloween

Two favorite beverages:
1. Water
2. Mt. Dew

I'm tagging Cody and Casey cause I know Jory won't fill it out.

Now, if you don't have a blog....here's what you're supposed to do, Copy my post into an email, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you.

TAG, YOU'RE IT!

Friday, January 25, 2008

It's Beautiful but I don't miss it

My dad emailed me some photos he took while at our family friend's Lodge "The Pines at Phillips Lodge" in Island Park, ID today. The snow is beautiful and I wish I were sitting in the hot tub on the deck of our usual cabin right now, but until teleporation becomes possible, my hot tub dreams will have to wait.


That's 4 feet of snow on that roof!

Snow bank


Saved the best for last...


A Fucking Stage Coach Snow Sculpture
How fucking kool is that?

Monday, January 21, 2008

Not A Proud Day For Utarhd

Utah Teen Charged With Raping Dog

"A 14-year-old Utah boy has been charged with bestiality and lewdness for allegedly raping a dog, according to local affiliate FOX 13.

If convicted, the teen could face up to one year in jail and a fine of $2,500 under state law, which classifies cruelty to animals as a misdemeanor offense.

FOX 13 spoke with Cheryl Smith, executive director of the Utah Animal Adoption Center, about the case. She urged lawmakers to pass stricter laws against people who intentionally harm animals.

"These crimes are getting more and more common. And it’s very disturbing," she said.
Smith said the dog had been molested in "unspeakable ways," but that it was in good care now and adjusting well to its new surroundings, according to FOX 13.

She said she learned of the case after a concerned neighbor called to report a dog was being abused. The owners then released the dog to authorities."

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Quality vs Quantity




I think it's time to withdrawl from Blog 365. I'd rather not post something lame just to post something. I will continue to try and post everyday however I simply don't have the time or energy to sit down and share my creativity every single day. So instead of trying to play catch up or remember what I wanted to post about, I'm just going to admit defeat.




Monday, January 14, 2008

Jimi Crack Corn

When I set this picture as my computer background, I found it looks better blown up full size. I think I might even order a 11"x 14" print for the wall.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Dog Escape Routes

Spent the afternoon installing mesh boxes in the holes in the fence.
I'm a little more then half way done.
FORTY holes left to fill!

Friday, January 11, 2008

The Rest of the Story

After falling and climbing out of the deep dark dreary hole, I get home and realize I forgot to stop and buy dog food and we are completely out. As I walk into the bedroom to change before heading out to the store. Jory tells me I won't be able to flush the toilet, I stop mid stride...What?
"The water has been turned off!"
This day is trying to kill me! I remember Jory showing me the notice that was left on our door the night before but in my mind I thought I'll take care of that Thursday morning because Wednesday morning is my doctor's appointment so I wouldn't have time before work, not figuring that the notice would be for the very next day. So not only do I need to go buy dog food, I need to go buy several gallons of water to "shower" in the morning.

The only thing forcing one foot in front of the other is knowing this is not the end of the world, this is not the worst day of my life, I've experienced the worst day of my life and by some miracle I made it this far.

I picked up dog food, check. Stop at Walmart, hauled my thousand pound cart of seven 2.5 gallon jugs of water to the check out, noticing people take second glances at this odd purchase. Standing in line, with the understanding that no one knows why I'm buying all this water, but I'm still embarrassed.

It's not like I was 3 months late on the bill. I remember getting the bill dated 12/28/07, it's only been 11 days. Why would they be turning off the water after 11 days? I was so confused. The next morning I got up early so I could be at the Water Company at 8 AM when they opened. I walked in and asked them to help me understand what happened. Turns out the bill I received 12/28 was the 2nd notice, the original actually went out on 12/11. OOPS! But still, the water is turned off in less then 30 days of the bill being mailed to me? That only gives me 3 weeks til the due date. Or 1 week to write the check and mail it to make sure it's mailed 7-10 days before it's due. This company not only has no grace period, they don't have online payment options (which is how I pay all our bills) nor do they have automatic payment abilities. They won't even accept a payment for more then the amount because that would cause a credit and they would have to send me a refund check. I'm surprised they were using computers at all. Regardless, this was my fault. Part of that Laziness I was talking about recently.

ps They said the water should be on in an hour or two, we'd be at the top of the list. Our water was not turned back on until 2:45 PM. Personal Day #1 of 3 wasted. Wait...why did Joey take a personal day with all that water to shower with? Have you ever tried to shower in ice water? Nuff said. I was waiting for the water to be turned back on, then go into work late, but due to the late hour of the arrival of water, it would have been a waste anyway. Plus I was still feeling pretty funky from the Lupron, although 1000% percent better then the day before! And I feel 1 million percent better today!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Deep Dark Dreary Hole

Talk about a mental breakdown! That Lupron through me for a loop. It grabbed me from the inside and forced me down into a deep, dark, dreary hole. I couldn't see the light above, I couldn't find the strength to reach out. It was like an invisible compactor squeezing the air out of my lungs. The tears threatened to drown me as I sat in my car in desperation. My mind was running around in a maze of disbelief, I thought the knowledge of possible Mood Swings would allow me to laugh at the coming tears and bitchiness, however there was no comedy here.

This pain took me back to the maternity ward in the hospital, moments before Jory asked me to "hold on" for him. I was so ready to let go, disappear into nothingness into my forever sleep. But wait...there was that light, my Jory he could rescue me. I struggled to send him a text message through the blinding tears, "I'm sorry for the next 3 months". He responded, "Thanks for the advance notice". I told him, "I can't stop crying". Feeling his warm arms around me, I read "Is there anything I can do?". Not quite understanding he had already helped, I replied "no".

Sitting there, I realized the tears had stopped. I was breathing again. I cleaned up my face and went back into work. (I couldn't go home, my coworker had already left early "sick".) I didn't find it until later, but around the time my tears had gone, Jory sent me this to use for future breakdowns:


Thank you Jory!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Time for a medical update.

Back in November I was supposed to start my endometriosis treatment, Lupron. However you have to get the shot on the 3rd day of your period. Well my body decided to take a month off so starting in November wasn't an option. Then to fit the pattern of my life, the day in December we flew to Miami I got my period...of course. So we were obviously in Florida during the 3rd day. Doctor said just to come in for January. January 1st came and went and I thought I was having a replay of November, however better late then never it finally showed so today I got my first Lupron shot. I know already this is not going to be fun. When I got in the car to drive to work the effects were already hitting me. Is this normal? They told me to call if anything felt odd but that I could suffer from quite a few side effect including severe mood swings, hot flashes, headaches, bone density loss, two others you don't want to hear about. Let's see I'm experiencing an Out of Body feeling, random tingling, extreme sleepiness, not so much hot flashes but constant hot, like my body is an oven and I'm cooking my organs for dinner. I feel High...not enjoyable High but high enough that I'm queasy and light headed and occasionally nauseous. The sleepiness and out of body feeling is kinda like when you take 2 Ambien and try to stay awake. I'm hoping this all goes away, maybe it's just happening like this because I JUST got the shot today? Maybe tomorrow will be better. I can deal with hot flashes, I can deal with being hot. I lived with it during the summer when I was pregnant with Jack, so I know I can deal. The 2 things you don't want to hear about are going to be rough, not only for me but for Jory and one makes the other even more not fun so hopefully I can skip those two side effects.

So my next shot will be February 6th, then March 5th. Then we'll discuss the date for my surgery, but I assume April. Awe...so much to look forward to. Ha Ha! It sucks not to be TTC, I hear my biological clock which is already defective and past warranty ticking away. I hate that I'm so jealous of other women who's bodies work as they should. I'm tired of feeling bad for wanting to get pregnant and give birth to my own child instead of giving up and just adopting, as if it were that easy. I hate that I've started to question my decision to pass up the adoption when I got pregnant.....

Apparently the mood swings have Swung-in cause I just started bawling and had to run to the health room to hide. The longer I was in there the more sad and angry I got. I should probably stop this post for now. I'm going to apologize in advance for any post that may offend or get too personal the next three months, hopefully I will have a little more control of my emotions soon.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Who really knows me?

UPDATED with some my answers:

YOU fill in the blanks about ME, even if you don't have any idea. Be honest and post it blank on your site if you want, so I can do it for you!

My name: Joey

Summarize me in three words:

Where did we meet:

Take a stab at my middle name: Christine

How long have you known me:

When is the last time that we saw each other:

Do I drink: Yes, just not very often become most days I'm TTC. I have been drinking recently though and oh boy have I missed it.

Do I smoke: Yes I do. I quit when I got pregnant with Jack and when he died, it was an alternative to becoming a drunk or drug addict.

Am I happy: I have moments

Am I a good person: I believe I am.

What was your first impression of upon meeting
me/seeing me: Most people think I'm a bitch when they meet me...I don't really understand that.

What's one of my favorite things to do: camp

Am I funny: The MOST Funny!

How do you make me smile:

What's my favorite type of music: Led Zeppelin duh

Have you ever seen me cry: I would imagine everyone who knows me has seen me cry now

What is the best feature about me: my hair

Am I shy or outgoing: I'm an outgoing person however my depression keeps me from showing it all the time.

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: REBEL

Do I have any special talents: I can squirt water out of my lip piercing like a fountain.

Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what): Hippie

Have you ever hugged me:

Kissed me?:

What is my favorite food: hard to say but I fantasize about chicken cordon bleu crepe sandwiches

Have you ever had a crush on me:

Am I dating anyone: Married to my bestfriend and soulmate, Jory.

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be: Joeythegirl

What's your favorite memory of me:

What is my worst habit: smoking

Have you ever had a dream about me? If so, what?:

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing I would bring? Jory

Are we friends:

Do I believe in God? no

Am I family oriented? yes

Who is my best friend? Jory

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Day Fright or Depression?

I once shared on my blog that while driving, I picture myself crashing into telephone poles, other cars, buildings, into ravines and over cliffs. Most recently my mind is going through the motions of all sorts of crazy shit. Today I was sitting on my back patio smoking and thought, I can't wait for it to stop raining so I can take the dogs for a walk, then my mind jumped to taking them into Petsmart for now and Jimi possibly going ape shit and barking out of control, then flash back to walking down the street and having a big dog come running to eat my precious babies....would I swoop up Mazzy or Jimi first? My brain immediately went to Mazzy. Does this mean I love her more? Or is it because I've had to swoop her up to save her life a couple times before? Or is it because she is more scared of other dogs then Jimi? Then I felt horrible that I would put Jimi second, because she's such a lover. I would miss her belly flop-roll over-rub my belly move the most. My eyes began to well up thinking of losing either one of them. I told my brain to STOP! I don't want to see these horrific scenes play out in my head. But it WINS and the thought of losing Jory pushes me over the edge and tears began to fall.

This happens all the time, not just when I'm driving. I've pictured myself getting my teeth knocked out, legs cut off, stabbed in the heart and shot in the head to name a few. These things play out in my head almost like a movie except that I feel it as it happens, but it's never as painful as I would imagine. It's like I'm dreaming but I'm fully awake. I wonder if this is related to the Night Fright I had growing up or if it's part of depression?

Does this happen to you?

Friday, January 04, 2008

Un-Officially

You may think that I have already lost the Blog 365 but I haven't! I have been blogging every day however I haven't posted them online. Weekends are for rest and relaxation and I don't want to be bothered with posting, so I will be posting them on Monday. I guess technically this would mean that I've lost already but I play by my own rules.

On with it already...

I like to un-officially do things, that way if I don't follow through no one will point and laugh. I'm not sure what stops me from getting things done in time, other then the genes my mother gave me. Christmas/Holiday cards are still sitting on my table. Xmas presents for family, still not sent. OK I'll be honest...presents not purchased yet either...BUT it's not like I'm going shopping, I'm buying it all online and having it delivered so it's not as bad, right? Excuses excuses, I don't know what's wrong with me. I used to be really good at getting things done and not just on time but before it had to be done. I don't want to blame Jory for my laziness but, he's so laid back that it gives me the freedom to be laid back which coupled with my depression resolves in pure laziness. OH AND add the new XBOX 360 on top of all that and I won't get any thing done! Jory and I have been playing either Halo 3 or UNO on XBOX LIVE anytime we're not eating, sleeping, picking up dog poop or watching really important reality TV and good thing we have a DVR otherwise the reality TV wouldn't even get watched!

So what am I doing un-officially? I'm doing 365 days of self portraits. This one I found out about on Flickr, I do have a 365 set but I'm not uploading them daily and I didn't join the actual group because you're supposed to upload them daily and I know I WON'T meet that expectation, that being the very reason for this blog. I'm also posting them on my new Joey 365 blog, but not daily. I am however taking a picture of me or part of me every single day....at least so far. So go ahead and check it out, here. I'm not promising anything Awesome, just thought it would be interesting to try and do.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

2007 Survey

Where did you begin 2007?
In our old shitty apartment in Chandler, AZ with Jory.

What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Same as it has been for the last 10.5 years, blissfully taken.

Were you in school (anytime this year)?
I'm well beyond that.

Did you have to go to the hospital?
Yes, another year, another surgery.

Did you have any encounters with the police?
I was pulled over once but no ticket. ;)

Where did you go on vacation?
Moab, UT twice, Northern Utah twice and Miami Beach, Florida!

What did you purchase that was over $500?
Our house, PS3, Xbox 360 with accessories...

Did you know anybody who got married?
Yes:
my oldest brother Jason to Pim
my youngest brother Christopher to Fawn,
my aunt Luann to Glen
and of course
Sara & Carl (the reason we went to Florida).

Did you know anybody who passed away?
Our ferret Jerry, My parent's dog/Mazzy's brother Ozzy and Jory's dad's dog/Jory's furbrother Sedjit. It always happens in threes!

Did you move anywhere?
From Chandler to Mesa.

What sporting events did you attend?
none

What concerts/shows did you go to?
um none that I can think of, we missed out on Tool and Dane Cook due to untimely vacations!

Describe your birthday:
Work, PS3, Famous Daves or maybe I wanted Famous Daves but we didn't make it? I don't remember.

What's the one thing you thought you would not do but did in 2007?
I don't know....see my oldest brother finally get married.

What has been your favorite moment?
The entire time we were in Miami Beach, FL are my favorite moments.

Any new additions to your family?
New sister in laws Pim and Fawn and with Fawn came 3 beautiful nieces and my brand new nephew Haiden in June!

What was your best month?
December

What music will you remember 2007 by?
Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah because it played every 30 minutes on the radio!

Who has been your best drinking buddy?
Only drank 3 times: twice with Sara in Miami, once on New Years so I guess that makes Sara my drinking buddy.

Made new friends?
Carl (we love you!) and some more bereaved parents online.

Favorite Night out?
Any in Florida

Overall, how would you rate this year?
Thanks to the AWESOME time in Florida I'd say, not the worst.

Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
Work

Change your hairstyle?
nope

How old did you turn this year?
31

Do you have a New Year's resolution?
Don't make them cause I don't keep them.

Do anything embarrassing?
Made a huge scene bawling my eyes out at my brother's wedding because my cousin walked up to our table with her son who was born 2 weeks after Jack's original due date. It will always be hard to see him, he will always be what we lost out on.

Buy anything new from eBay?
nope

Get married or divorced?
nope

Get arrested?
another no

Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
OK I did watch the audition episodes...I couldn't help it. I flipped the channel and America's worst were making a mockery of themselves, I love that shit!

Did you get sick this year?
When do I get to NOT be sick?

Been snowboarding?
Not in years....more then 10 to be exact.

Are you happy to see 2007 go?
If only I could go back in time to 2006...

Been naughty or nice?
A bit of both I guess.

Donate for My Kindness Project to Honor Jack!

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