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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Letters from the inbox Part 2

12:01 am 2/28/08

dear sir,
i want ot know that which type of fast food is mostly like by youth /teenager whihch is healthy for them.

Dearest Pooja,

As soon as I'm done watching "You Suck At Photoshop #6" on YouTube, I'll run right out and survey a few youth/teenager and get back to ya!


Tech (and apparently Survey) Support

1:55 pm 02/28/08

Why is it that you folks do not want any new business? I finally got your Rep *Name to call me and he was to set an appointment right after Christmas. I have never heard anything else from *Company name. I suppose he did not say Christmas of what year...


Dearest Tom,

I suppose you are right, Smart Ass!


Tech (NOT Customer Service) Support

2:15 pm 02/28/08


Respected Sir,
The some post of " DATA ENTRY/RECEPTIONIST or any suitable " is lying vacant under your kind control. In response of vacant vide your Company Website.I beg to say that I am interested to do the Job cited above. I am an energetic Youngman of 23 years. I have 5 year professional experience of complete Microsoft Office (Typing Speed 35/41), Graphic Designing, out look Express, Adobe Photoshop, Coral Draw Scala, and lot of experience in internet/computer. I have one year experience of Computer Operator practical teaching experience of Computer at La Salle School System and one year experience of Data Entry Operating from Humza Composing Center and many more organization (Detail looks my C.V). (Still continue)
I have a lot of processional skills in Warehouse Worker Departments and Computer work with reference to foreign Exchange in my county.
Sir, if shall be given a chance I shall leave no stone unturned. My professional skill can be checked and verified through practical test.
Reference Available (on Your Demand)
My Passport Detail is as Follows.
Name: Khan *middle nameS and last name edited
Passport No: *12345...
Date of Expire: 05-JUN-2011
I assure you will feel proud on my services for other information please checks my C.V. (Bio Data) which is enclosed with my request. Kindly also call for any confirmation about my professional carrier I am waiting for your kind reply. Thanks advance.
Hopping for your sympathetic consideration.
Your obediently

Dearest Khan,

I think this might be more up your alley...


Tech (NOT Human Resources) Support


Jory said...

I only have a better response to Pooja:

Dearest Pooja,

As soon as I am done watching "To Catch a Predator" I will get right on providing you a great pretext to lure innocent young boys out for a "healthy meal." Jesus Christ you sick fuck it is FAST FOOD, why don't you just tell these kids that you'll get them beer and weed instead.

Thank you,

Tech (not PERV) Support

PS-I have forwarded your inquiry to CPS and to those equally bizarre perverted justice people that have the amazing Webster/Arnold ability to look somewhere between 4-10 forever.

Joc(e) said...

Oh lord. Those are some gems. I have had to read resumes at a temp agency I worked for and we just couldn't believe some of them that came through. One girl had some hoochie mama e-mail address and another used some really weird curly font...not to mention the ones from people who never heard of spell check . It was really sad.

Jon said...

I remember a couple years back sitting with a Customer Service Manager while he was reading resumes, now this was for more technical support (DBA, Training, etc) type support.

He read me one and the biggest part of the resume that the applicant focused on - KARATE!

We just laughed and threw it away.

Joey said...

KARATE...I love it!

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