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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Here Comes the Split Pea Soup! I'm warning you now.

I feel like crap and I'm tired of feeling like crap so instead of separate, possibly funny posts about all the random shit going down recently, you're going to get a vomit like spew of Johnson updates. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

ps When Joey doesn't feel good, she swears a lot. Much more then normal. So I'm sorry in advance, well not actually in advance, I wrote this after I finished the whole post and decided I better warn you cause I was feeling like being nice for those of you who may be bothered by a Fuck here and a Shit there, there's a lot of fucking shits in this one. Enjoy.

First off, Jory and I suck at getting things done. I've said this a million times before, we are professional procrastinators. What is it this time, you ask? TAXES. Fucking Taxes! We've done our own taxes since the beginning of time...the last few years we've used Turbo Tax or similar and this year would be no different. We just simply put it off guessed it April 15th.

We could have finished in a timely manner however it kept telling us that we OWE THREE THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?????? We kept going back to see if we missed something, added fake deductions, upped our real deductions and nothing would change that horrible RED number. (We did go back and remove fake deductions and corrected our real deductions OK UNCLE SAM you piece of SHIT!)

So what time did we finally accept our fate and pay the IRS $3,000 and transmit our returns? 12:01 AM April 16th. Yeah, we missed it by 2 seconds. Of course our returns were returned with errors and now we have to mail in our signatures (still haven't done that) so we're expecting an astronomical late fee from The Man. Fuck The Man!

Let's see what's next...oh yeah, got a call this morning from the doctor, my blood test results show I didn't ovulate so we have yet another failed attempt. I'm not surprised or overly disappointed. I wasn't actually planning on being able to try for 3 to 6 months since it can take that long to get your period back after the Lupron treatments. By The Way, (TMI for sure) I was really scared I'd never feel like a woman again after being forced into menopause and Thankfully I've got some of those "feelings" back recently. I only say this for those ladies that might find my site by searching Lupron to know that I've been there and it sucks and there is a light at the end of that scary tunnel. Hopefully your husbands will be as understanding or at least the perception of understanding that Jory has been for me. I'm not sure men could ever really understand how it feels to have your "feelings" turned off as if by a switch. They can get a hard on from a slight breeze. It's emotional for us first then physical and to have the physical theoretically removed, there's no amount of "fantasizing" to flip that switch back on. You just feel empty and broken and scared that it's gone forever. Which now freaks me out about real menopause...eek I don't even want to think about it. So another concoction of fertility treatments and more doctor appointments coming soon.

My MIL Sandy and hopefully BIL Cody will be coming for a visit Mother's Day weekend!

It's nice to have visitors and I'm sure they'll enjoy the warm sun, Utah is still experiencing some crazy winter/spring/winter weather. I love Jory's family, they're so kool and laid back, they've been a real source of stability for me. My family is crazy and it's no secret I've had issues with my mom, step dad and real dad so it's nice to have that stable loving relationship with my other "mom and dad". It's funny cause all my friend's parents hated me. I was the bad influence or evil one so it was a breath of fresh air when I found out his parents liked me. It might be too hot for my FIL Ken to come out for father's day...I guess we'll see.

I talked to my brother Shane today, he said they got 4 inches of snow last night and it's still snowing today. I think I might have talked him into coming down for a warm weekend soon, before it gets too hot for them.

My brother Jason and his wife Pim are in Utah right now. Unfortunately it was too late notice to get work off and too expensive to fly up for the weekend to see them. They go back to Singapore this weekend. I can't wait to plan a trip out there. I've always wanted to go to Phuket, Thailand which is not too far away from them.

Work sucks.

I don't know how we're going to landscape now that we're $3000's not like we can landscape during the summer, unless of course we are looking to DIE of heat stroke. It's stressing me out.

I guess that's it, I thought there was more but there isn't. I'm just tired of being sick all the time and tired in general...fatigue is my life and it makes exercising near impossible. It's strange how I can pass out on the couch at 10 pm on a Friday night but have to get up out of bed and take Ambien to go back to sleep.

I've also been pondering a career change. Not too seriously, I mean I have responsibilities and insurance to worry about. But I haven't been happy for awhile and during my recent annual review when I was asked "what I wanted to be when I grow up?" My past dreams flashed in front of me and I realized they will never happen. First and foremost I want to be a mom to living child/ day it will happen whether it's through adoption or surrogacy. I had previously wanted to be a LCSW and do independent therapy with children or a fashion designer or professional photographer. None of those will ever happen, I know this now. I'm over it. But I think if I start volunteering with an adoption organization or some sort of child services, maybe one day down the line I could get hired full time without a degree. Of course fitting in volunteer time into my fatigued life is going to be difficult but if I want it bad enough I guess I'll make it happen, just not today.

And before I get a bunch of comments telling me we need to change our withholding for taxes...I KNOW. Of course that's what we're going to do. It happened because Jory changed jobs half way through the year, doubling his income moved us up to a higher tax bracket and we didn't adjust our withholdings as we should have. It's our fault. Next year we will pay a professional to do our taxes and have them double check 2007 for us and we'll amend them if needed.

I'm in a bad mood cause I don't feel good and I hate when people (this one particular coworker of mine) like to give me obvious advice. I'm not fucking retarded so don't treat me like I am. So I'm asking you not to offer me tax advice unless it's a top secret tip that will give me my $3,000 back.

I would completely turn off comments for this post but that's how I feel loved and cared about. So bring on the love Brothers and Sisters! Joey needs a hug.

ps The Johnson's are coming to Utah May 30 - June 8th. Nothing is set in stone as of yet, but I think we're planning on spending the first weekend with my brother Shane and Jessie on their boat somewhere. During the first part of the week, we'll be in Logan with the rest of my family. Little Haiden's first birthday is the 3rd, so I promised we'd be there. The last half of the week we'll be in SLC with Jory's family and we'd like to see as many of our Utahrded ;) friends as possible. Maybe someone will have a "The Johnson's are in town" party and everyone can party together? We'll let you all know when and where we'll be if you'd like to see us. Take advantage of this time cause I don't think we'll be back in Northern Utah again until 2009. For those of you who may be out of the country or washing your hair this June.....We will be going to Moab, UT for Jack's 2nd Birthday and Angelversary, the weekend of August 29th (Labor Day weekend). So you can catch us then.

Hey...don't forget about that hug!


Code-ster said...

Yeah, I'm no expert, but I think volunteering is the way to go. Seriously, during my unemployment stint, I'd say about 90% of people advised me to volunteer. It's definitely who you know, not what degree you have. So, I guess I'm saying, volunteer if you feel like it.

Jonathan Merchant said...

I have to disagree some what, yeah sure I got my job because I knew someone....BUT...I wouldn't have gotten paid what I am, nor do I think I would have been first on the list without my degree (as sad a degree as it is).

To rub in the tax thing - since Sydney, I pay like $5 a month in federal taxes, still got a return but had to pay in state (stupid state!)

Turbo Tax online FTW!

Code-ster said...

Yeah, I guess it depends on what your degree is. Mine is in anthropology, which has proven worthless up to this point. I wish I would have volunteered or interned somewhere while I was still in school.

But it does depend on what field you want to go into.

Joey said...

I got my current job because of who I know, then my work/life experience finalized the deal. I am one of the few that didn't have any TECHNICAL support, warehouse background or a degree and now they won't hire anyone without a degree for this position, unless of course you know the right person ;)

I think it depends on what field you're in and what degree you have. I personally think most degrees are worthless, with Jon's being one of the few exceptions.

Jory said...

I think people should just totally luck out and fall into the job that rocks for them (other than the driving the hour there and the hour back each day). I know life sucks like that. Go figure? Taxes suck, I should be getting some free health care, or at least a ration of "handies" for being in the over 25% bracket. Maybe you should start an internet porn site? I hear Arizona college girls frequently become porn stars. Just an idea...OK...Nevermind.

Regina said...

Hugs from our family to yours! We love you and miss you. We definitely want to see you and are willing to host a gathering. Maybe we could make dinner for you and some friends/family? We would love to do something for you...


Joey said...

What weekend are you having a party for the boy's birthday? We don't want to impose...unless you're having an adult party that evening, we'd be happy to come to both or either!

I don't think there will be anyone you don't know that would come, if you guys did host a party for us. Sara/Carl, Tom/April, old peeps from ICHG?? Jory's brothers? Maybe my brother Shane/Jessie? There aren't too many of my old coworkers that have kept in I guess I should just email you HA HA!

I promise not to sit on the couch and read Martha Stewart!

Joey said...

OH and I swear we will NOT miss another party because Jory needs to go to the hospital...he will have to SUFFER!

tom said...

sure, sure. Unfortunately, your doggies will find out about the party and end up barfing in your car again!

BTW, Jory, first your magic binoculars (remember those?), the JCP, and kick-ass wife, and your killer six-figure-a-year job? If you weren't such an ugly cuss, i'd say you were the luckiest dude in the world

Mr. E Mann said...


Sorry to hear about the rough patch. Mat and I will send you good vibes.

Fucking taxes! We almost ended up screwing ourselves as well. I had Athena declare exempt to keep our money out of Bush's greedy, murderous hands. In 2007 Athena made enough of an increase in wages
that it bumped us out of the earned income credit tax bracket. The only thing that saved us was declaring my expenses and the loss in wages I had for the year since I was spending money and gearing up for a big 2008. It knocked us back down just enough to cancel our debt and get a small return.

Well, I am glad you are getting visiters down your way. I only wish I had been able to get down to see you both one more time before the heat. And WTF! Every time you are going to UT is a week before or a week after the week I will be there. I have to be out there for court to get Avi the week after you leave for home! At least I hear the good news of a Moab trip!! Count us in (even thought you must be trying to melt us going in August!) for sure. That will be perfect as I will be free for a trip to UT in August and will just have to balance the vacation with Mat going back to school for 1st grade. Also, I can use all the good fun and friends that weekend too since I would have been celebrating my Anniversary...

It would be nice if we could all be able to make it comfortably doing a job we enjoy. Some of us are very lucky. I hope that even better job luck comes your way. Keep us posted on any changes. :)

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