Willow is coming home...Hopefully! I'm scared to death our birthmom will change her mind again! Due date changed to May 23rd but she's dilated to a 2 and cervix is 80% effaced! It could be any day now! Sorry for all the "!" but I'm freaking out! Calling lawyer to see how to fast track this since we lost hope and stopped planning. Keep us in your thoughts please! What a F'ing roller coaster! Hi I'm Joey and I'm a basketcase!
Update: Called lawyer, if birthmom goes into labor tomorrow and we don't have homestudy done we can still take the baby and finish up the paperwork. Obviously I will do everything I can to get it all done in time. So much to do and who knows how long to do it.
I wish there was a bit of excitement in me, but there isn't. Not until this is all done. Well I know it's in there...deep down inside but it's being guarded by the Wall of Joey. It's just too hard to Go There again knowing how much it hurts when it doesn't work out. I really thought the text yesterday was going to be the Official "Sorry I'm keeping her" notice. It was really weird, all weekend long, especially on Sunday I couldn't get it out of my head. I started a text to her at least 45 times, different ways of saying..."Hello, we're still here in Limbo...what's the official word? Yes or No" But I couldn't send it. I needed to know to fully let go of her, but I wasn't ready to hear "No" so I never sent it. Then yesterday the unexpected text came to me.
So you can all be excited for me, I promise to join you when she's home!
Oh for the women who are wondering(because I know men don't care), her next doctor's appointment is this Friday.