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Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Adoption update

Willow is coming home...Hopefully! I'm scared to death our birthmom will change her mind again! Due date changed to May 23rd but she's dilated to a 2 and cervix is 80% effaced! It could be any day now! Sorry for all the "!" but I'm freaking out! Calling lawyer to see how to fast track this since we lost hope and stopped planning. Keep us in your thoughts please! What a F'ing roller coaster! Hi I'm Joey and I'm a basketcase!

Update: Called lawyer, if birthmom goes into labor tomorrow and we don't have homestudy done we can still take the baby and finish up the paperwork. Obviously I will do everything I can to get it all done in time. So much to do and who knows how long to do it.

I wish there was a bit of excitement in me, but there isn't. Not until this is all done. Well I know it's in there...deep down inside but it's being guarded by the Wall of Joey. It's just too hard to Go There again knowing how much it hurts when it doesn't work out. I really thought the text yesterday was going to be the Official "Sorry I'm keeping her" notice. It was really weird, all weekend long, especially on Sunday I couldn't get it out of my head. I started a text to her at least 45 times, different ways of saying..."Hello, we're still here in Limbo...what's the official word? Yes or No" But I couldn't send it. I needed to know to fully let go of her, but I wasn't ready to hear "No" so I never sent it. Then yesterday the unexpected text came to me.

So you can all be excited for me, I promise to join you when she's home!

Oh for the women who are wondering(because I know men don't care), her next doctor's appointment is this Friday.


Laura said...

i know you don't know me, but i have been reading your blog for awhile now. i found it last year during NaBloPoMo. i also follow your twitter. i know its weird when strangers do that, so i thought i should finally post. i really feel for you and feel like i'm sorta on the roller coaster too. I have been thru my own set of baby issues, so i know how badly you want this. i just wanted to say that i am sending positive vibes your way.

Joey said...

Hey Laura thanks for reading! It is a little weird to find out strangers read your blog, but I also feel a little lucky to have strangers who care enough to keep reading, let alone simply finding me in the first place!

Thanks for the vibes, they are definitely needed.

Yo! Any other strangers out there, feel free to follow Laura's lead and say Hello! It makes me smile.

Emily said...

crossing my fingers
holding my breath
saying my prayers

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