So I guess I should update you all on me. I'm OK. Coming home and putting the baby stuff away in the nursery was not as hard as I thought it would be. No breakdowns or bawling. It wasn't meant to be this time I guess. I know we're not alone in our frustration...why is this happening to us? Why is it so hard for us to bring home a baby? Why is it so easy for people who don't even want kids to have them, but for us, it's seemingly impossible. But I'm OK. As ok as one can be in our situation.
I believe we will find our Willow and bring her home one day, or a son who will end up wearing a lot of pink ;) Regardless, it doesn't feel exactly the same as losing Jack, it did at first but now that some time has passed, it feels more like we're still waiting for our Willow.
I'm sure it's silly but it's confusing and uncomfortable for me to write Thank You notes for the baby gifts. I had planned on taking pictures of Willow in the outfit or blanket or bath that was bought for us and sending those in the Thank You cards, but now I don't know what to do in this situation. Do I suck it up and write them or wait until we finally get to bring a daughter home or do people expect to have the gifts returned? Where's the rule book on this? I'm sure people haven't thought about it and maybe I'm over thinking it, but it's been really bothering me at night.
Thanks for every one's continued love and support! I appreciate everyone who has reached out to us. I know we're not alone on this roller coaster, we have a great group of friends and family and I will try harder to remember that on my dark days. I love you all.
To Jory, my love, best friend and rock...I wouldn't be here without you. I'm sorry for all the loss and pain it's caused. I appreciate you more then you will ever know. You are my heart and soul, without you I can't breath. I love you Forever.