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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Ghost of my Dad

Just now, I walked outside and saw my dad standing across the street, beside a truck with his back to me. In shock I dropped my smokes and tears flooded my eyes. The sound must have startled him because he turned and looked straight at me. I blinked, trying to clear the tears and I realized it was my neighbor Bruce, dressed just like my dad in jeans with his t-shirt tucked in and a leather belt. Same build, same bald spot, same everything! My heart was in my throat and I couldn't breath.

Bruce didn't say anything, which is odd, he normally YELLS "How ya doin?" when he sees me. Or maybe he could see the tears from clear across the street?

It shouldn't be a shock that I "saw" my dad, he's been on my mind constantly with Thanksgiving coming. See, the last time I talked to my dad was on Thanksgiving two years ago, not quite two weeks before he suffered a fatal heart attack up at the cabin in Utah. I had no idea that would be the last time I talked to him.

Thanksgivings were already impossibly difficult to get through because Jack is not with us. How could we "celebrate" a holiday where your family is supposed to gather for a feast, when our family is missing a vital component, our son Jack. And now Thanksgiving is officially the hardest to survive through without Jack and without my dad.

I was supposed to be cleaning my house all day today for possible guests tomorrow night and I just can't seem to get myself together!

Love you Jack, Love you Dad! MISS you Both more then words can describe!

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